Home > thoughts > Podcast on hold, so how about a movie review?!

Podcast on hold, so how about a movie review?!

Previously on WhatWouldWesleyDo: Another Podcast down!

I’m almost there. Just wait. I’ll surprise you soon with something big. Until then, enjoy the blog and the podcast, whenever we get it back…

Long story short, @PopeSnogginheim and I are not very coordinated or forward thinking with a podcast and we have no more bandwidth to publish our musings. We will be back up by the end of the week, but in the meantime, we are dead — podcastically. We shall be resurrected, but in the mean time, I saw the movie Contraband.

More or less it was entertaining, but I wouldn’t guarantee you’ll enjoy it. Contraband‘s has good intentions are no match for the basket full of plot twists the movie tries to force into an hour and fifteen minutes. Trying to combine every movie of it’s genre into one is nice, but everyone is better served if a movie has only 18% ADD. Between that and how hard the movie tries to pack plot twists and a bunch of other crap into a little basket, it’s lacks the freshness of what it sets out to be.

This Wesley guy says you suck Sebastian, you should go fuck him up, because that's how problems get solved in this world.

Visually it’s pretty well done. I’m not a huge expert on cinematography, but some of the footage and angles are dope or something (*shots fired at hipster film fans*).

Mark Wahlberg is a terrific actor ( I actually liked the 2001 Planet of the Apes and thought he set himself up nicely with that role), but he couldn’t make this good. Kate Beckinsale and the kid who played her brother are unbearably annoying. Self-centered is one thing, but characters who miss everything happening around them and still continue down the same path are for books and anime. Same with the guy trying to get out, meanwhile trying to keep a foot in. I won’t spoil the movie for y’all who haven’t seen it. Well, one more thing… there is a bad New Orleans accent lodged in the trachea of this movie.

Oh yeah, movies about drug trafficking/gangs/illegal activity are so archetypical and well, #terrible. As my buddy Aun said, “it’s not that anyone is more creative than anyone else (when moving drugs), it’s just some people have more money than others and they pay everyone off all the way down the line.”

Case closed, no need for this Contraband garbage. If you want to not waste your time and see a something worthwhile watch The Town. One of Ben Affleck’s best performances and it spends the necessary time developing characters, pulling you in and rooting for an outcome. You’ll thank me for the suggestion, unless you can see Contraband for $4.50 with some friends to alleviate the terrible.


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